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Rich in American heritage, steeped with tradition,
the Farmers’ Almanac is one of the oldest, most respected publications
in the country. Bob Farmer is available to address your audience and
bring this national treasure alive with his unique down home style of
humorous storytelling. Bob travels extensively to inform, motivate and
entertain audiences all over the country. Like the Almanac, Bob’s
talks are laced with anecdotes, remedies and a liberal dose of his unique,
down-home humor too.
The Farmers’ Almanac is one of the
oldest forms of written communication in the United States and Bob Farmer's
practical tips on how to communicate better have helped businesses and
individuals from coast to coast. Many audiences like to hear why the
Almanac continues to be so successful, generation after generation. As
an added bonus, when Bob Farmer visits he is willing to do interviews
with your local media, adding visibility to your event and building positive
publicity for your organization.
Bob Farmer is a member of The International
Society of Storytellers and was sponsored by Zig Ziglar in
joining the prestigious National Speakers Association.
Make your next meeting truly unique-and memorable - call on Bob Farmer.
What people Are Saying
“ You really made this convention planner
look great!”
– John H. McCulley, Executive Secretary, Oregon Fairs Association
“ Any crowd, small or large, would be captivated with your gifted storytelling!”
– Carol Grubaugh, Program Manager, Mount Vernon, OH Chamber of Commerce
“ According to all of the talk I heard, our guests just loved you!”
– Debbie Sinex, American Association of Meat Processors
“You were fabulous, a pleasure to work with and you made my job easier!”
– Rachel Reaid, Municipal Gas Authority of Georgia
The Wit & Wisdom of Bob Farmer
1. Every married man in America has heard
these eight words... "you're not going to wear that are you?'
2. You can judge a person's character by the way they treat those who can't
help them and those who can't fight back.
3. The word "vegetarian" is an old Indian word that means "bad
hunter"
4 . Life is just one darn thing after another.... it's how you handle those
darn things that determine your quality of life.
5. Folks want to know when is the best time to castrate their bull (according
to the moon) the absolute best time to castrate your bull is when
you have him tied up really really well.
6. You can't motivate anyone to do anything unless they know how they will
benefit from a change in their behavior.
7. If you're talking family humor, there's nothing funnier than your spouses
family.
8. Any country boy can tell you that when there's more folks riding in the
wagon than pulling it, you're in trouble!
9. The instant replay was invented because men have such a short memory
10. If you really really need something (like a new roof) and don't get it,
you'll pay for it and still not have it.
11. Men never remember, women never forget!
12. If you want something to go your way, do everything you can to make it
happen. If it still doesn't work..... forget it!
13. The length of a minute depends on what side of the bathroom door you are
on.
14. Raise the level of expectation to be commensurate with an increase in price.
15. Grandchildren are God's reward to you for not killing your teenagers.
16. The more you explain the worse it looks.
17. Always borrow from a pessimist, they never expect to be paid back.
18. Tact is letting other people have your way.
19. The main ingredient to success is sincerity....once you learn to fake that,
you've got it made.
20. The only fool bigger than a know it all is the one who argues with them.
21. Does pushing the elevator button several times make it go faster?
22. When you dig a well and it comes up dry, move your digger
23. If you blow in your dogs face it makes them mad, but they love to stick
their head out the car window.
24. We don't stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing.
25. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know,
it's never been done.
26. A small dirty spot is more noticeable than a large clean one.
27. Every family has a few nuts hanging off their family tree.
28 Nothing wilts faster than a laurel rested upon.
29 Men will not ask for directions, that's how come only one sperm in a million
makes it to where it's going.
30 To get what you want, give other people what they want first.
31 Many politicians are like diapers, they get full of themselves and need
to be changed.
32 Most folks are too busy living life to enjoy it.
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